This is what an old near-toothless woman was grumbling on the metro (line 1 - lots of tourists!) as more and more people poured in and a very tall tourist (obviously!) wearing a huge backpack was bumping her with it every time the swerved. It was audible enough for everyone to hear, in French and still kind of low and grumbly: "There it is! Again! He hit me again! Americans! They're horrible, Americans! ... Again! That's the FOURTH TIME! I am so sick of impolite Americans!"
I was sitting a few seats away from where she was standing and realized then that I should have given her my seat so she could escape the tyranny of the imposing American tourist backpack. But just then, the person two seats away and quite convenient to her, got ready to get off the train and told her to sit down. Then a small Asian woman boarded and with the lower bars all occupied and unable to reach the bar from the ceiling, I offered her my seat since I holding onto the bar at the height of (apparently) a man's grasp is actually not a problem for me. I found myself facing this cranky old lady and I said "They just don't know how behave in the metro." My seeming sympathy got her going and she said "There are polite Americans, and there are impolite Americans. He is NOT polite!" I assured her it was more ignorance than anything since when Americans (take note please) are in France they don't understand how you are supposed to avoid inconveniencing ANYONE, EVER. That is a huge, probably number one social rule. L'Americain had failed in a big way to even realize this is a thing. Parisians lower their bags and backpacks and luggage and briefcases and bouquets of flowers and grocery trolleys and hold them roughly between their legs, thus taking up no more space than you already would just standing (legs not too far apart, mind) and holding on to stabilize themselves* with their other hand.
I had at least some pity for the American, but he and his wife seemed absolutely helpless and unwilling to do anything about it either. Shame on them! The wife said "It's the next stop!" The man shook his head and said, nodding toward the crowd of people between him and the door "I'm sorry, but..." (admittedly he did try to be less in the way moving toward the back, but he still took up like three persons worth of space. Pas gentil.) I saw that he basically didn't know how to get out of this situation and was going to get off at a later stop where he would eventually accost more Parisians, undoubtedly without saying "Excuse me" first, and get them riled up all over again. So I said "Just say 'Excusez-moi' really loud. They'll move." He nodded and smiled sort of surprised and not exactly happy I'm sure that I had to tell him something SO FREAKING BASIC. But hey. I tried to help.
The terrible Americans got off at their stop and I continued my little chat with the cranky lady. She had worked in exports with producers of Limoges ceramics for like 40 years, and many of her clients were from California. She was really proud of how she made it possible for her clients to save a LOT of money with the détaxe. Turns out, she loves Americans - er, at least Calfiornians. (Too bad that guy left before I could tell him. He probably hated his vacation.) She spent lots of time in San Francisco and Santa Cruz and Monterrey, all gorgeous places. French people really love San Francisco in general, it seems. Moral of the story, culture clash rarely ends in clear communication. All someone had to do is tell the Americans not to be such inconsiderate space-hogs and say excuse me when you interrupt people's lives, and that if they did these things French people would like them. And the lady just needed to know that someone cared that she was "dérangée" by this and also kind of explain how Americans just don't know that about France. No one ever tells you. (I am now, but I am awesome.) She actually seemed really happy to talk about her work. She loved doing it - "C'était formidable!" I wonder if she is just a generally crabby person because she doesn't have that anymore. It's crazy how much diplomacy could actually solve.
As for Americans traveling in France, or anywhere, I think it's safe to say we tend to think ourselves free to do what we want wherever we are. It's kind of a cultural trait that has gone, like everything else, to the extreme and that actually does us harm in the long run. Because we aren't free to do what we want everywhere we want, and even if we were, people who have that kind of entitlement are jerks. Perhaps the French are too uptight about rules - social or otherwise - and the school system, according to Flavia (mom of my host family) "breaks their spirits and only teaches them rules." So I get it. BUT there is something to be said for the order and civility of France. I really didn't understand it before. It is civilized. So civilized. People are civil, even when they have a problem. The French love of rules and absolute truth is an entirely separate post though.
*Holding yourself up so as not to bump other people is also a huge social responsibility as I learned from another old woman. I actually was trying to be considerate and moving out of the way for someone as the train approached the station, and the train hit a bump and I fell backwards, stomping on an old lady's toe. She didn't know who it was and my STUPID honesty urged me to say, "It was me, Madame! I am so sorry! Really!" And she just lectured me the rest of the time about how I should hold on (I had been until someone needed to get out) and how I hurt her (but I couldn't do anything about it). So she basically shamed me almost to tears. This is how you learn NEVER EVER to be so bloody careless again! Gah!
